Be…

Since opening this blog I've primarily written about God and how my life's experiences have all lead me to Him, in ever increasing measure. I've shared the thoughts He has leaned into my pen.

I was a reluctant blogger to begin. I've been a writer for years and years, but many of those years I enjoyed my pen and my heart mingled with my Lord in the quiet of my alone time. Just my heart, my thoughts, my prayers scribbled on the page. I loved it and I most assuredly would have been most comfortable to just leave it there. Me and God alone with my heart. I can honestly say I trusted few outside of Him to penetrate the deep regions of its chambers. So when I began to share what I had penned it was painful, it was intentional, it was my heart, my privacy (something I've always held dearly) my obedience to God's lead and if it weren't for Him I would still be writing more myself alone to this day, most likely anyway. So, now I guess I am comfortable with sharing and writing and knowing someone else is reading what's in my heart and head. I feel the leaning on my heart to just write. No message. No life lesson or wisdom come by virtue of experience. Just ramblings...let's see where this leads. I want to write just to write. I already do this on my own, but I want to open it up and share more of my days on my blog page. That's going to be new for me..

My entire life, as far back as I am able to recall, I've had passions that run deep. I feel deeply. I tend to care deeply and my compassions and empathies also, run deep. I feel and discern the hearts of others, deeply. I have a jovial and playful silliness to me that comes naturally, but I am also a bit serious and contemplative. It's hard not to be for I also, think and ponder on things...you guessed it...deeply.

It can be a bit overwhelming to experience passions of mind, heart and soul deeply so at a young age I sort of learned how to compress them and package them and file them away I guess. It was just easier. This, of course, was not healthy, but very socially acceptable as most people do the same on some level. As I grew and matured and became more of the woman I had been Designed to be--I was no longer content to keep it all to myself. I guess I stopped being selfish. I began to allow myself to feel more, be more, embrace more. It was a risk of heart worth taking.

I love my pen. I love how God has so gracefully anchored it through my hand as an extension of my heart. I feel safe and free when I write. I imagine I need all that passion and feeling to stimulate its creativity. Expression of soul is always beautiful. It's who you are, unashamedly.

It's difficult for me to write and not shift my focus from myself to encouragement, to you, your needs, your life, your cares...so I guess for now I'll stop there.

I want to just Be.

Take Care-- Nicole.