Does God Disappoint?

I think it’s safe to say that we have all had a time or two where we just plain missed it. We did it our way and then later came to know whatever it was, it was a wrong choice and may have even had some rough consequences.

But have you ever done something in complete surrender and submission to God, following His lead, yielding fully and then later feeling disappointed in what came next?

Why do we think being a Believer is going to fulfill our personal goals and desires? I’m not suggesting it can’t or won’t. But when it doesn’t...well, this blog is for those who know what I’m talking about.

I will be honest, I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. I just sort up picked up and asked myself the question and began this written dialogue.

How wrecked would your mindset be if I suggested to be complete in Christ and to walk in obedience with His ways and His will, we won’t receive what we thought we would? You may never land that dream job. You may not even graduate school. You may have unresolved family issues. Your kids may stay on the backside of Egypt. Your marriage or relationship may not be what you thought it could be or dreamed it would be. Have you ever worked harder than hard on a relationship and it still fell apart? What then? Does it mean you have failed or missed it somehow? Have you sinned excessively? Do you question your worth or even God’s desire to give you the desires of your heart? What if after all the yielding, surrender, faithfulness, obedience and submission, you still feel disappointed?

Disappointment is a powerful emotion. It can completely strip even the most stoic personalities into absolute apathy. How do we handle disappointment when it comes? How to hold strong, keep the faith, leave a smile on our face and not somehow feel empty because we know the deep pain we know we have that needs to heal?

Can we have absolute assurance of the Peace and Presence of God and still feel disappointment as well?

I believe we can.

In the Book of Ruth we meet a few women who were well acquainted with disappointment. Naomi, the matriarch widow of this family felt so disappointed she allowed her disappointment to turn to bitterness. She even changed her name to Mara which means “Bitter”. What happens next? Well, a whole bunch of unconventional behavior from both the mother and widowed daughter in law as well. Read Ruth Chapter 2.

I’m not trying to depress you. I’m not praying on fears or hopelessness. I’m painting a real and viable picture that I believe many, many believers face and don’t know how to equip themselves to overcome and emerge on the other side alive. The divorce and failed marriage happened, disappointing for sure, but you do not have to live there. Peace can be your compass and guide.

My heart breaks for what breaks the heart of God’s people. My heart feels the hurts of others. My heart becomes overwhelmed with a knowing of true anguish, pain, helplessness and hopelessness. All extremes of disappointment.

I don’t have a lot of real answers. I’m more asking probing questions. I don’t know why God allows some horrible things to happen to good people. But I do know that God can heal and mend and renew a heart with courage to begin again to trust God no matter what the outcome.

Every horrible thing we walk through is an opportunity to sink deeper into the lap of a Heavenly Father who wants to be so close, he could stroke our eye lashes. I know that’s a unique visual, but my youngest as a baby would stroke my eye lashes when I held him. He never once poked my eye. He gently touched my lashes. It was extremely soothing and calming in a season where I was facing enormous disappointment.

So why not God?
Does God want to stroke our lashes?
Such an intimate act.
Such a gentleness.
Such a trust to let someone so close to your eyes.
And if God we’re truly that close, it would be hard to see anything else except him.
He would be the most real thing in our sight. Does that sound about right? And maybe that’s his goal after all. To be so close to our heart, our mind, our heart and soul, we can feel Him breathe. And He’d breathe into us, captivate us, refresh us, and we would understand true Rest and how to just “Be”. To still ourselves and truly KNOW God and how capable He is to Love a heart whole.

Beloved, I don’t know what your life holds. I’m praying now I am used to encourage hearts hand picked by God. I can sense this is for people going through the deepest of anguish. Anguish so real there are no words.

You are not a disappointment. Your sorrow brings sorrow to the heart of God.
You have not failed God. You may have difficult circumstances, but God is bigger than it all. He cares for you deeply. He’s not out to blast you or accuse you. He just wants to hold you. He just wants to stroke your lashes.

When your feeling low. When you don’t know how to make the disappointment go. Remember and recite these verses. I pray they get you through. I pray your beautiful smile will be present and you will be told you have a beautiful smile and a beautiful soul. I pray God surround you with people who see your worth. I pray you will feel good. We don’t live by emotion, but there is a difference between being full of emotion and being numb to them. Don’t go numb. The Enemy would choose to sear your heart and block it off under belief no one can hurt you anymore. But that’s not true. It only seals the pain in. God has more beauty than that for you. So hold tight. I pray these scriptures bind your brokenness and give you the kind of brave you need to breathe again.

Consider each verse a stroke upon your eye lashes:

• “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.“ Romans 8:28
• “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.“. Jeremiah 29:11
• “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.“ Colossians 3:23-25
• “But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.“ Matthew 6:6
• “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.“
  Matthew 6:10
• O“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!“
  Psalm 27:14
• “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.“
  Matthew 10:29-31
• “He said to me, “Son of man, stand up on your feet and I will speak to you.” As he spoke, the Spirit came into me and raised meto my feet, and I heard him speaking to me.“ Ezekiel 2:1-2
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