It’s Complicated

It’s Complicated

Yesterday I had someone share with me, when I asked how things were going... “It’s complicated.” I knew full well they were going through something difficult. I knew that they were doing their best to do the right and noble thing in a diffiult circumstance. I knew my simple question was probably also a hard question. I wan’t trying to probe. I was trying to encourage someone going through something more than a little complicated.

One things this friend shared was that they realize that no matter how much their intensions are good, their effort level high, they just cannot control outcomes. They cannot control how other people respond or behave despite their good efforts. They can only change themselves. As this wisdom poured out of my friends mouth I just  listened, knowing everything they were saying was so true. And even with this, we can only change or control ourselves and the only one who can truly change us is Christ.

How about you? Is your life “complicated”? Do walls of judgement crash down on you? Are you in a circumstance you can’t quite figure out or change? Feelings welling up inside your heart, mind and soul you don’t know what to do with? Does grief plague you daily? I have some good news for you…I want to encourage you. You are on my mind this morning. I may not be able to sit with you and comfort you, but my pen can go where I cannot. So if my words are tugging on your heart, perhaps the Lord desires you to hear what I have to say.

7 Ways To Overcome When Life Gets Complicated:

  1. Slow to Anger

When Jesus went to the Cross he wasn’t angry or offended. He truly took one for the team because he was in love. (John 3:16)

2. Commit Yourself to Grace

In my business I work mostly with women helping them achieve a desired health goal. It is not uncommon for me to have to help keep their eyes on the goal and not on other women as they compare themselves. It’s easy to get tripped up in wishing we did something as another seems to do it effortlessly, or look as another looks or even have a personality type you wish you had. But this isn’t healthy my friends. Jesus came to earth because His eyes were on you! Yes, he loves those people you admire, too, but he would’ve come if only for you. When Jesus looks at you he sees all of you, the good and the not so good, but he sees you through the eyes of perfection. He sees your best self. He sees something he loves. He loves you 100 percent as you are today and he will love you 100 percent every day of your life. He doesn’t change in how he feels about you. His love and grace for you never waivers, so adopt his mindset about you for yourself as well! There is nothing you can do to screw this love up! (Ephesians 2:8)

3. Understand That God Has Got Your Back!

 No matter what you go through, God saw the detour or obstacle coming from miles ahead. God is omniscient…that means He sees and knows everything. We can have confidence in His care knowing His plans for your life won’t be derailed if we keep our eyes and heart on Him. He will see you through and bring the promise or blessing to you. (Psalms 46:1)

4. Practice Humility

Humility is a tough one because it’s difficult for all of humanity to achieve on their own. It is true, that some people are more naturally wired in humility, yet we all struggle with pride. Pride isn’t just a puffed upness. Pride can be worry. Worry is basically us not trusting God will take care of us and we feel the need to fret and spin our minds and efforts. Worry is a waste and maybe a disguised form of pride. Only God can give us pure humility. Any other humility is false humility which is discerned by others and not so attractive. (1 Cor. 2:5; Psalm 56:3)

5. Be A Good Listener

Have you ever had a conversation with someone and you just felt like even if they weren’t speaking and appeared to be listening, they weren’t “hearing” what you were trying to say? God is speaking to us always. It is up to us to slow down, pay attention and ask Him to help us hear and know what He wants us to hear and know that we might understand. Become better at listening to understand. We can take example from Samuel. He heard, but misunderstood, assuming it was Eli the priest speaking to Him. But their was a voice of the Lord calling the sleepy boy, arousing him from his slumber to a new wakefulness in God. Christ is calling to you, waking your soul and opening a door for you to walk through, but you must be paying attention. (1 Samuel 3:9)

6. Stop Being So Judgmental

This one is similar to number 2, clinging to grace, but this time I’m referring to grace for others. Phil. 4:8 tells us to think on good things, this includes our pre-judgements, assumptions, and misguided thinking regarding others. People are often quick to jump  to the wrong conclusions—usually based on our own mindsets, virtues, past experiences or fears. So practice a pause of heart and mind and become more open minded asking God to help us see the situation as He sees it. God often uses the peculiar to achieve His work. So if something doesn’t look right, it doesn’t always mean it isn’t right.  Even when God is in it, we sometimes miss it. (Phil. 4:8; John 4)

7. Walk In Forgiveness

This one can be tough. Relationships can be complicated. But God created us for relationship—both with himself and with others. God was originator of Community. He tells us to gather together in Christian love and not fail to do so. People can annoy us, harm our feelings (many times unintentionally) and just plain get on our nerves. In these moments we must step back in our heart and assess our own responses. As I said above, Jesus was in the most complicated scenario of his life. He was about to be hung on a cross for a wrong accusation. Yet, he wasn’t angry. He was at peace. He loved Judas, his betayer, even as the nails were piercing his flesh. Only God can do that. God may not be requiring you to literally be staked to a tree, but he does ask us to take our thoughts captive. He asks us to be patient and kind. We need to be selfless. We must put on the whole armour of God. Read the Word. Surround ourselves with people who will encourage us and spur us on in our faith. It may be difficult on your own, but with Christ all things are possible. Can I share a tip for how I do this? I find atleast one thing I appreciate or admire as a quality in everyone. If someone is particularrly difficult to love, I focus on that one thing I can admire in them, even if it’s something small. Then I focus on that when I am tempted to focus on the difficult issues about them. I hope that helps you, it has helped me for decades now. 

One definition of Charity- as defined by is the leniency in judging others; forbearance.

He has promised to never allow more to come on us than we can bear as we rely on Him (I Corinthians 10:13).

"As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”3No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:36-39

Blessings and True Joy in Jesus—

know I am praying for you.