“Bless Me, In Spite of Me.”

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One of the best things I can do every day is search my own heart...

There’s something stoic and beautiful about the courage to examine ones own heart. I’ve walked through many seasons where the Lord began to dig and probe and search me. It goes so much more smoothly when I yield.

Over time...I have come to realize that God truly is capable of taking care of me. I’ve always believed it as most who love Him dearly do, too. But we allow our mind and emotions to overrule his good plans and our trust in Him begins to agitate our rest in his peace.

Because I know it’s not of me, but God, I can share that one thing I’m told frequently by others is that I am a carrier of Peace. I have a calming way about me. Some of it may be my natural temperament (which God provided also), but truly it’s all fruit of my love affair with Him. Left to my own I’d be anxious and probably wouldn’t let people get close enough to me to find out if I carried Peace.

Knowing and growing my relationship with Heaven has been the greatest Love Affair of my life. Every bit of care, acceptance, guidance, hand holding, has come like a flood from God.

Some of this friendship is the pure favor of God. I didn’t earn it. I didn’t do it. I invested myself...I yielded...I obeyed. But this kind of Love can only be Heaven made. I cannot take an ounce of credit.

And it has to be.
When it’s God the feelings and the edification are real.
You experience it.
It has residual carry over.
But the unique flavor it brings to all of life is like a tattoo of the soul, a perfume of the heart, a disposition of soul that extracts and finds blessing in absolutely everything. There is an always present awareness that God sees what I can’t and He is working all things for my future good.

It births a level of purity that contains real power. Power to kill the flesh.
Power to see as God sees.
Power to walk in love, grace and unity.
Power to humble myself and accept whatever God finds fit for my life.

In all of this I have grown through the searching of my heart. Accepting and working through the things I have found ugly about myself. No beating myself up, just saying, “Ok, God. Got it. Forgive me. Help me. I cannot do this without you. Bless me In spite of me.”

“LORD, you are my portion and my cup of blessing; you hold my future.“

Psalm 16:5

God will bless you, too.
He never meant for you to handle life or your own heart alone.
He walks right beside you.
And He will fill every broken space or crack and flood it with His love and it will hold together all your broken pieces in such a unique way His light shines through.

Heaven is for real and it’s Creative Genius is, too.
You’ve got a Mighty Hand reaching out and always willing to hold you and support you.
He will see you through.

For when we search our heart...
When we walk through the Fire to the Flood...
This is where we become completely undone by Overwhelming Love.

Your best is yet to come.
Beauty for Ashes.
Glory for Pain.
Endure the fiery flames.
Purity Reigns.
You have a Delightful Inheritance.

As Always...

~Nicole