Time. It is probably of our most precious commodities outside of our health. Time never stops moving. It is faithful and consistent to progress, whether or not we progress with it. Time is like money, so I always try to maximize it to not waste it. I’m not saying I’m always successful at that, but I consciously choose to use it for productivity and when I rest I try to have balance in it, but not linger in it too long. When you have a large family and your kids are getting older, you spend a lot of time in the car. A LOT! The demands of my schedule are intense. Not just getting them from here to there, but everything is abundant. The laundry is at least two loads a day to stay on top of it (I can’t stand it when the laundry piles up so it never does if I can help it). The grocery trips to Costco at least twice a week. Trips to the gas station for all the gas consumed by all that time in the car. I have four boys and live in the country, you can imagine the housework and all the dust that finds its way through my front door. Just managing my family’s life is a full time job, but I work to earn an income on top of that. There are days I pray to the Lord and wonder how I keep going? I remind Him and myself that He knew what He was doing and He wouldn’t have given me five children if He didn’t think I could handle the demands of such a schedule. Our society is completely geared to the two-kid family of four set up. You don’t necessarily realize this, until you surpass it. That happens a little bit at kid number 3, but it hits like a home run by kid 4. Just when I thought I was going to have a little more freedom, my sweet little Joy flooded my life, number 5, who is still small and at my side. That little guy came into my life at God’s perfect time. He is a God of perfect timing.

I love people. No, I adore people. All people. All kinds of people. I don’t understand all people. I cannot necessarily relate to all people, but I sure do love them. My heart actually burns for them, literally. I can be standing a speaking to someone and I will begin to discern and feel God’s heart for them. I could almost weep as I sense God’s pleasure with them. Sometimes I can be in the market and I feel the pain of the soul in the person next to me who is shopping as well. My heart groans.

I get along with most people because I can cling to their good. But I only have a couple really close friends. They are sent right from God and evidence of this can be seen in our history together and how the Lord wove us together. I cherish these gals immensely. Each came into my life at just the right time. I don’t get to see or speak to them as much as our closeness would indicate, but when I do need them, they are usually reaching out to me first, not knowing I need someone. In fact, my closest confidant told me just recently, for all the years we’ve been friends she never understood how I could just do my own thing all the time and didn’t seem to have the same need for constant contact and socializing that most women have, but when I had it, it was beautiful. I sat and listened and kind of wondered where she was going with this. She proceeded to share a recent experience and then how the Lord used it to tell her about me. She told me, “I get it now.” She proceeded to share that God showed her how I am so content in the Lord, I am completely dependant on Him for my deepest intimacy. Though I love and appreciate my relationships, I am completely content in Jesus. I guess I hadn’t thought about that, but after she said it, I agreed. He is a God of perfect timing.

I love to write. It is a part of me at the depth of who I am. I have always been a writer, but I didn’t always know it. I guess I truly began to realize it in college. I was never a natural student, but I worked hard. I had discipline and desire so I was determined. I found myself at one of the most competitive Universities, especially for the major I had declared. I know that was the favor of God. He saw me through. Any test that required multiple choice or a scan tron, or a formula (ugh!) forget it, I was probably going to get a C even though I prepared. But give me a short answer, essay or a paper…watch out, that was my place of confidence. It just flowed better for me if I could explain it. It’s like writing slows my mind down long enough to collect my thoughts. It gave my thinking an order and my fingers were connected to my mind in a way I cannot describe. If I could write it, I knew I would ace it, and I did. Fortunately, most of my core instruction was tested with a combination of written and multi choice answers. So I got out of there (college) with a 3.4 GPA cumulative. That’s the favor of God. At the school I attended the kids are so bright, there was never a curve on grading because you better believe there were students getting a perfect score on their exam.

So, how does a busy mom who works a little as well find time to write…in the middle of the night, of course. The Lord is so good to me, He gently comforts me as I sleep and I find it wakes me and he nudges me to go sit down and spend time with Him before he puts me to pen…and then I write. The middle of the night is not my ideal time to write, but in some ways it’s really nice because the house is quiet, I can hear my thoughts, and I have it all to myself, interruption free. He is a God of perfect timing.

Sometimes in life, so much is going on around us all of the time, that we neglect to savor each moment. I find myself more and more over the last five years maybe, give or take two, that I am absorbing, drinking in my moments. I am making mental notations and capturing the essence of my experiences. I am looking, listening, yielding my heart to God fully as he enlightens me, delights me, and invites me ever deeper into His Presence. It has never taken the Lord much effort to court and swoon my heart, but this place I reside with Him now, it definitely has come by much fire. What does that mean? It came with my trials. I have learned by experience that when a testing of my heart comes, though I don’t like it, it is a time of Joy for me. You may wonder how I can say that. Because, I’ve tasted the fruit on the other side of obedience in the past and it was really good and it took me always to a higher level in my peace, and all the fruit of the Spirit. It also showed in the depths of my relationships and became an added luster on my ability to connect and relate and comfort others. He is a God of perfect timing.

I’ve spent so much time typing all about myself, but what does it mean for you? How can you relate, if at all, to anything I have said? Are you a frazzled Mom who struggles to get out of bed for dread of the demands of her day? Are you wondering if you can get it all done and still be a parent who can connect intimately with each of her children in the way that each uniquely requires? Is your heart so full of emotions, some jammed down so deep it may take a jack-hammer to loosen them from the sides of your heart and extract them? If so, are you feeling overwhelmed by this? Or maybe you just feel numb? I feel this is probably the one I see in people the most. They have been through so much or are dealing with so much, just coping. Keeping busy so they don’t have to deal with it or feel it, that they have unconsciously become numb in heart. It’s not that they are hardened, but soft, definitely not. In fact, it may be hard to describe this type of feeling because frankly, you can’t feel much at all. Is this you? Have you forgotten what you are passionate about because you must spend your time meeting the demands of life that are upon your life? What do you enjoy doing and when was the last time you did it? You will never find the time, you have to make time in your crazy schedule to enjoy the things that fuel your soul. How about this one…when was the last time you just sat with your bible or a devotional book or said a little prayer with expectation that God would actual answer you? Do you need some quiet time with Him? If it’s been a while since you visited with this faithful friend, you don’t need to be embarrassed or ashamed. I promise you that Jesus will never remind you of the exact day and time of your last call. He won’t recap your past or chastise you at all. He's not going to make you feel bad for all the things he has done for you. What you will find is comfort in your soul. When you have comfort in your soul you can endure so much more!

He is the God of the Perfect Time. When you make time to take a little time to spend with Him it is amazing how He will order your steps, orchestrate your day, create Divine Appointments and make it all work out in the end. He will pattern situations and events in such a way that you will know that you couldn’t have made that happen if you wanted to! I love that about Him. He is the God of perfect timing, perhaps today is the perfect day for you to spend a little more time with him. You will wonder what took you so long, when you begin to speak and realize how faithful he has always been. Just like a best friend. Perfect.

There is nothing under the sun that you cannot overcome if you decide not to do it alone. When you allow God to sort your relationships, organize your life, manage your day…you will have more time and desire to enjoy the things that bring you joy. He wants that for you, through and through, he has always been right there for you. Make some time…I think He is waiting for you.

~Nicole

P.S. My disclaimer on this post: I wrote it at 2 a.m. and then went back to bed without editing or proof reading it. If it doesn’t make sense, re-read it later, I will probably edit it sometime tomorrow. Laugh with me, life is a Joy filled journey. Let’s keep it real!